In the last two weeks, I have been repeatedly asked, “Isn’t sex just really overrated?” Categorically, No – it’s just feared.
Is the one posing this question, in a marriage where sex is reduced to a perfunctory routine where neither partner is sharing their deepest truths and resentments because they don’t know how to? Has the person been the victim of sexual abuse in dismissed incidents of long ago that were deemed insignificant? Is he or she a victim of sexual abuse, knowingly traumatized and thus overwhelmed by the lurking memories that engaged, deeply felt sex haunts them with? Is the relationship long dead with too much on the line to lose, so sex is used as a last-resort glue to reassure the couple that all is well? Has the process of aging and its potential toll on self-image taken sex hostage and shut out its charms and joys?
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